MY NAME IS APE

Forest Adventure Park, Subic Bay,  Olongapo City, Zambales

I've been trying to recollect more memories and experiences growing up as a Filipino-Chinese girl in Singapore but I found it hard to write a follow up to my previous entry cuz my memory fails me... gosh, and I'm only 28! I might possibly have goldfish memory.

And also, I would like to add that I'm REALLY, REALLY HAPPY to know that Part 1 was an entertaining read to many! How can I top my own article? Tsk tsk, the pressure I give myself.

Whatever! You will read what I give you, reader!

"I heard 95% of Filipinos can sing really well. You MUST sing really well, then!"

Congratulations! You're the luckiest person to have met me cuz you've just met a rare gem!!

I'm the 5% who can't!

Karaoke sessions with new friends and colleagues always involve being forced to take on songs by Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and the likes. I politely decline because I would like to preserve my dignity and spare their eardrums but they always throw this at me, "Nonsense! I'm sure you're just being humble. I'm pretty sure you're a power-belter. Come on, just one song."

Everyone thinks they know better than me.

Well.... it's not like I didn't give enough warning. To quote my friend and former colleague, Adam, "April, you weren't kidding when you said you can't sing." I'm absolutely sure he kept the second part "please don't ever sing again" to himself.

"Do you know how to sing Anak?"

This was a very common question in the 90s when Freddie Aguilar's song was making its rounds outside of the Philippines. The new generation know nothing about folk classics so I don't get asked about it much nowadays.

To answer the question, yes, I know the song. Yes, I can sing the song. But no, I can't sing it well. See point above, hahahaha.

By the way, if you want to know more about the song, here's the Wikipedia page. Apparently, it's been translated to 26 languages! I knew there's an English version but 26 languages! That's kind of a big deal! Here's the original Tagalog version, you can search for the different translations on YouTube - they're everywhere.


"Do you eat balut?"

YES, OF COURSE!!!!

Well, sort of.

See..... I do eat it, but I eat around it. I drink the soup, I eat the egg white, and sometimes the hard white part. Everything but the chick. I just can't seem to make myself eat the whole thing. I know it's pretty unfair cuz I FORCED Ian to eat it when we were in Boracay. I was being all bossy and forceful about it like "Oh, come on! Everyone here eats this like it's just a potato chip." Hahahaha!

I'm sorry, Ian. I know you still love me anyway. BBWAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Bora beach life with Ian.

"Have you been to Boracay/Palawan/Davao/insert place here? What can you tell me about it?"

I am not Lonely Planet. Until recently, my answer to this has always been "I'm a tourist in my own country." Dude, the Philippines is a HUGE country with like 7,107 islands. I understand people would like to get some first hand travel stories but I don't really travel to anywhere outside of Manila often cuz I can't seem to save up enough monies.

A big yay this year cuz I finally got to go to Boracay for my family vacay - so that's one off the long list! But if you'd like to find out more about Philippine travel destinations, your best bet would be TripAdvisor, and not me.

"You're Filipino-Chinese, you must be rich."

Most commonly asked by taxi drivers after asking me if I'm sure I'm Filipino cuz I'm so fair. First they focus on the Filipino part "Why are you so fair?", then they focus on the Chinese part "Your family must be rich in the Philippines!"

Yes, we are rich because we have each other.

And love is all we need.

BA DUM TSSS!!

That's me taking a jeepney up to the Palace in the Sky in Tagaytay, Cavite, Philippines.

I've been living in Singapore since I was nine. I turned 28 this year, so that's:

28 - 9 = 19 years!!

That's more than half of my entire life so far. And since we are on this topic, I hope I live up to a hundred, but not bedridden, widowed and missing my late husband, or being a burden to my family or anything of the sort. Which means I gotta start living healthier, have a husband (equally healthy) who will live for as long as I'm alive, and a damn good retirement plan.

Back to original topic. I've encountered my fair share of stereotypical/condescending/amusing stuff since my family migrated to Singapore in 1995. Since there's been a lot of people migrating here from the Philippines lately, I thought I'd share some of the experiences I've had (some I still experience up to today).

Totally working my flip flops up on the Palace in the Sky.

"Are you sure you're Filipino? You're so fair!"

Hhhhmmm... yeahhhh, I'm pretty sure. I think I would know? Wait, are you implying that I'm adopted? But to explain why I'm fairer than most Filipinos, it's because I have Chinese blood. And that's why I'm yellow and not brown. *rolls eyes*

"Do you know *insert name here*. He/she is also Filipino."

Well, to be honest, each time an acquaintance asks me this, I really hope that FINALLY I would know the person they are asking about. But sadly, out of the countless of times I've heard this, it has NEVER happened. And no, I don't know every single Filipino staying in Singapore.

"Hey, you're Singaporean, do you know John?"

"You've been here since primary school, why can't you speak Mandarin?"

Once in a while I choose to indulge people who ask this.

The long story is that I was actually exempted from Mother Tongue lessons in primary school, I took French in secondary school, and I didn't have any language modules in university. The basic conversational Mandarin that I know, I picked up from my private Mandarin lessons and daily interactions.

The lazy/I-don't-give-a-fuck-about-explaining-myself-to-you version is, "I was very bad at it and I failed Mother Tongue in school."

"Oh, you can speak your native language! Can I hear it? Can you say something in Tagalog?"

Some people are plain asking for it. Who would know the truth if I said, "Bakla, ang panget mo" and told you it means "You're my best friend" After five minutes, no one would remember what I just said. And if I say it with a face that's straight enough, I'm pretty sure people would totally believe me.

By the way, "Bakla, ang panget mo" means "You're an ugly faggot."

And just to be clear, I WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY SAY THAT TO ANYONE (even if the person really is ugly and really is gay). I'm just stating an example. Please don't send me hate mail.

Standing beside this really tiny tricycle (for size reference) outside the Paoay Church at Paoay, Ilocos Norte, Philippines.